


tiptoeing (around the bitter truth)

by sprinklednana



Series: sugarplum elegy (lee brothers series) [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Alternate Universe - Small Town, Fluff and Angst, Kissing, M/M, Sharing a Bed, i have no idea how to tag this honestly, taeyong mark donghyuck and jeno as brothers, twins! nohyuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:55:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprinklednana/pseuds/sprinklednana
Summary: “Why do you always act like I’m going to break your heart?”"Because you're a Lee boy."Their small town was filled with countless stories of the Lee brothers, how they all inherited their father’s handsome face and his ability to enter a room and make everyone fall in love with him.Jaemin knows how this ends.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: sugarplum elegy (lee brothers series) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1814185
Comments: 30
Kudos: 432





	tiptoeing (around the bitter truth)

**Author's Note:**

> It feels so good to write this, I feel like I haven't written for nomin in so long :(( I missed it so much :((
> 
> Please do leave kudos and comments, I would really like to know what you think about this <3

“Can I sleep next to you tonight?” Jeno asks, meek, even when he’s fully aware that Jaemin is physically incapable of saying no to him. 

  
  


Even when Jaemin knows it would have been better for both of them, in the long run, if Jeno never learned how to ask anything of him in the first place.

  
  


They and their friends were thrown into an unplanned and chaotic sleepover in Jaemin’s house where they marathoned an anime series that Renjun liked, losing track of time and giving Chenle’s protective parents half a heart attack.

And now it was way past midnight.

  
  


After hours and hours of Renjun commentating the entire series, Chenle and Jisung spewing all kinds of shit on half of the students in their year, half of which doesn't sound the least bit true, and Donghyuck toeing the line Jaemin and his twin, Jeno, could never cross by teasing them endlessly and giving them knowing looks whenever they so much as accidentally _touch_ , all of them have finally given it a rest.

  
  


Chenle and Jisung were sharing the guest room, no doubt would be whispering and bickering in the dark room all night, and Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jeno were supposed to share the large futon in the living room.

  
  


They had plenty of space for the three of them to share comfortably, Jaemin knows this for sure.

  
  


Jaemin knew he should say no and turn the other boy away. He should know better and Jeno should have too. Renjun was a light sleeper and Donghyuck’s sixth sense would never let himself sleep through Jeno sneaking out of the living room to go to Jaemin’s. 

  
  


Even Chenle and Jisung would _know_ it would eventually happen. No matter how hard Jaemin and Jeno try to hide it or play it off with a laugh, all of their friends, Jeno’s twin brother especially, just _know._

  
  


Jaemin should turn him away now. Should let Renjun and Donghyuck see Jeno be sent away from Jaemin’s room. Should let Chenle and Jisung find out in the morning when Renjun and Donghyuck gossip about it when they think Jaemin and Jeno aren’t listening. _Like they always do._

  
  


But there Jeno Lee stands in the doorway of Jaemin’s room, in all of his glory, squinting a little without his glasses, hair a mess, and looking devastatingly handsome in nothing but borrowed blue pajamas and the dark sleeveless top he'd been wearing all day.

  
  


Jaemin was so, _so_ incredibly weak. And so he could do nothing but shuffle in his bed, body slowed back by the day’s exhaustion, to give space for the slightly older boy. 

  
  


He feels the bed dip with the other’s weight, feels his back suddenly become engulfed in warmth. 

  
  


He involuntarily closes his eyes and sighs at the strong arm wrapping around his waist. 

  
  


He shouldn’t have allowed himself to have this. But it was so, _so_ hard to think when Jeno Lee’s warmth was pressed against him.

  
  


Jeno Lee who was the school’s sweetheart. The Lee brother who seemed the least like a _Lee brother._ Jeno Lee who never drops from their batch’s top 5 rankings. Jeno Lee who was set to be next year’s basketball captain. Jeno Lee who sang, danced, and played just about every instrument out there.

  
  


Jeno Lee who could _do_ absolutely anything, could _have_ anything and anyone his heart sets out on.

  
  


And yet here he is, burying his nose in the back of the younger’s neck, inhaling deeply. _“You smell sweet,”_ Jeno has told him more than once. 

  
  


Nights like this make it increasingly hard for Jaemin to stop himself. Nights like this make it hard to keep denying himself.

  
  


He can’t say the words. Can’t even say the truth into the confines of his own mind.

  
  


The truth he already knew the moment Jeno Lee walked into the same class as him, sophomore year, all moon eyes, and baseball shirts and caps worn endearingly backwards. 

  
  


He knew the moment Jeno Lee sat on the chair right next to him. The moment he turned to Jaemin and began an innocent and friendly conversation.

  
  


The moment they’ve developed a sort of unlikely friendship, opening both of their worlds to the other. 

  
  


That day, sophomore year, Jaemin remembers how Jeno had smiled at him for the first time, eyes curling into moon crescents, and _god,_ did a part of Jaemin prepare himself for the inevitable heartbreak.

  
  


Jaemin has been denying it for so long. Been repeating to himself time and time again, _You saw what happened to Jaehyun, you know how this ends._

  
  


But his heart was never a great listener. 

  
  


It wouldn’t matter if Jaemin decided that he’d keep his feelings for Jeno in a box. _Tucked, folded, locked_. With the keys thrown into the deepest parts of the pacific ocean and the box buried so deep it’d reach the earth’s core.

  
  


Because this was the hardest truth: The feelings inside that box, along with the tingles that came with Jeno’s laughter at his jokes, and the sparks that came with Jeno’s easy touches, and the hurt and the hope and the longing, was _his_.

  
  


It wouldn’t matter if that box rots and the most disgusting of vermins feast on it. It wouldn’t matter if Jaemin wouldn’t see that box in a hundred years.

  
  


Jaemin has it embedded in the beat of his heart. He had his feelings for the moon-eyed boy memorized like the back of his very hand. 

  
  


And even if he tries to forget, he will always be reminded by the universe’s mockery, because the universe _hates_ him. 

  
  


The universe knows he wants nothing but to deny the way Jeno’s gazes makes him feel _alive_ and forget all the nights he and Jeno spent together, both of their darkest secrets and deepest thoughts whispered in the dark, but the universe, _being the bloody bitch that she is,_ would dangle _perfect_ and beautiful _beautiful_ Jeno Lee right in front of him exactly when he feels like he could finally be free from the confines of his heart.

  
  


The universe would keep on pulling him back and reining him in. Reminding him with every single eye smile across the hallway, every comforting hug after a bad test result, every kiss pressed against his temple when they think no one else was watching, every touch of fingertips under the table. 

  
  


Jeno turns Jaemin in his hold, making the younger face him, only a few inches separating them.

  
  


They look at each other; For _seconds? minutes? hours?_ Neither of them would know for sure.

  
  


“ _Can I kiss you?_ ” Jeno Lee asks, just like he always does. They’ve been at this game for so long, pushing a little bit before inevitably pulling away twice as far back. 

  
  


“ _Yes,”_ Jaemin almost _sighs_ out. He was, so, _so_ incredibly weak. He was going to chastise himself for it later.

  
  


But for now, Jeno was closing the distance between them, giving him no choice but to cup the elder’s cheeks in both of his hands.

  
  


The elder pulls him in by his waist, lips meeting him in a kiss so _sweet_ and so _careful_ , Jaemin melts like honey in his arms.

  
  


They move together, like lovers slow dancing in the center of the room; lips moving, biting, and _searching_ in sync.

  
  


If wistfulness could have a taste, Jaemin was sure it would taste every bit like Jeno Lee. And so he takes it all in, licking into Jeno’s mouth, not for the first time, and probably not the last either. 

  
  


He feels the warmth of Jeno’s hands gently travel all over his waist and his chest and his thighs, before making its way under his shirt, and settling onto the small of his back.

  
  


When Jeno kisses him, something warm and heavy unfolds in his chest. Every time Jeno kisses him, an important part of him cracks even further.

  
  


Jaemin was certain _just friends_ don’t kiss each other this way, but Jaemin was far too afraid and far too careful. And Jeno… Jaemin really didn’t know about what Jeno thought. 

  
  


It was hours of them just kissing languidly under Jaemin’s sheets, eyes closed, and movement slow, before the younger pulled away.

  
  


He doesn’t know _how_ he’s looking at the elder, but something like _recognition_ passes over Jeno’s face.

  
  


“You always make that face,” Jeno says, voice deep and low, rough from hours of kissing. The younger tries to ignore the small tinge of hurt in his voice.

  
  


He tries to make sense of it. How a sound like that could make its way in Jeno’s voice. He had no idea what they were doing. He had no idea what they _were._ Jaemin didn’t even know what he wanted them to be.

  
  


“What face?” Jaemin asks as he gently lowers his hands from Jeno’s cheeks to either side of the elder’s neck.

  
  


“That face,” Jeno begins, and pauses, like he was searching for the right words, “it always looks like you’re... _bracing_ for something.”

  
  


The younger’s shoulders slightly tense at the word, “What would I brace myself for?”

  
  


Jeno considers it for a second before letting out a heavy sigh, “you tell me, _Jamie._ ” 

  
  


When Jaemin doesn’t say anything for a while, the elder pulls him in for another kiss, slower but deeper. Trying to convey so much of the feelings he can’t put into words. _doesn't allow himself to._

  
  


When Jeno pulls away this time, he asks, “Why do you always act like I’m going to break your heart?” 

  
  


Jeno’s nose scrunched slightly in that awful way he always does when he’s a little bit frustrated. It never fails to give Jaemin’s heart a painful squeeze.

  
  


“ _Because you’re a Lee boy,_ ” the younger begins, eyeing the way the other boy slowly tilts his head in confusion.

  
  


Jaemin could take this case up to the court and anyone in this small town can be the witness. 

  
  


The Lee boys were nothing short of _magnificent_ and being associated with one can never result in anything but heartbreak.

  
  


“You’re going to _ruin_ me,” Jaemin continues, like it was the only possible truth.

  
  


With his hands gently caressing the side of Jeno’s neck, his thoughts went to the eldest Lee, Taeyong. Taeyong who had a face so angelic, it could move anyone to tears if given enough force. Taeyong Lee who crushed hearts in his wake and never knew how to look back. 

  
  


His older brother Jaehyun had been the first proof Jaemin had seen of the _Lee Brother Effect,_ as their little town liked to call it. He’d heard countless stories of the Lee brothers, how they all inherited their father’s handsome face and his ability to enter a room and make everyone fall in love with him.

  
  


He remembers freshman year Jaehyun who went home after the first day of school, eyes bright, cheeks pink, dimples showing, and talking a mile a minute about this _beautiful boy_ in one of his classes.

  
  


He remembers how Jaehyun went home one day, so bright and hopeful about the _beautiful boy_ going on a date with him. 

  
  


Weeks later, he remembers how the light in those eyes slowly dimmed, how the pink tint and the dimples in his cheeks were replaced by small frowns and anxiously bitten lips.

  
  


He remembers the first time Jaehyun had locked the door on him, not answering his calls and his knocks. He remembers how Jaehyun went out of his room only the morning after, lips pale and eyes red, dark circles under his eyes.

  
  


He remembers how he’d seen Jaehyun give his heart away for the first time, and witnessed how the person he’d given it to had crushed Jaehyun’s heart in their palms. By a beautiful boy who didn’t even look back once after walking away from him.

  
  


Jaemin’s thoughts drifted and drifted, as his hands found their way back to Jeno’s cheeks, before settling on Mark Lee.

  
  


Mark Lee, whose smile still makes a part inside of Jaemin _ache_. Mark Lee who had been one of Jaemin’s first ever friends, after the older boy defended him from playground bullies when Jaemin was barely five years old.

  
  


Mark Lee who was warm, hardworking, and so, _so_ endearingly earnest. Who was the simplest of the Lee brothers, and the one who felt the most real; _within reach_.

  
  


With his sweet smiles, helpful hands, and careful words, he still broke young Jaemin Na’s heart. Jaemin who hasn’t even gotten all of his teeth yet. Jaemin who was still growing into his own body. 

  
  


Jaemin who had known he was falling for Mark Lee when he was thirteen years old and Mark was fifteen. Jaemin who didn’t know any better then. 

  
  


Of course Mark Lee was going to end up with someone else, breaking something, not Jaemin’s heart because he was far too young for that, but _something important_ inside of him anyway.

  
  


He was a Lee brother, after all.

  
  


At nineteen years old, Jaemin knew better now.

  
  


His thoughts drifted to the youngest Lee, Donghyuck, the sun to his twin’s moon. The very boy who was much likely thinking of a way to sneak up to them tomorrow morning. To try and _catch them in the act._

  
  


Who bathed in glitter and gold, who knew how _more_ he was compared to everyone else and _loved_ every bit of it.

  
  


Captain of the school’s dance team and _the_ star of the theatre club. He was bright, beautiful, and absolutely unapologetic. 

  
  


He overheard one of the girls from his class saying once that Donghyuck was the _most Lee brother_ out of all the Lee brothers. 

  
  


He didn’t understand it at first. But becoming friends with Donghyuck in their sophomore year and seeing one crushed heart after the other by the sun kissed boy, time and time again, he begins to understand.

  
  


Everything about the sun kissed boy was a clear warning. The easy way he talked, moved, and carried himself. _Do not touch. Do not love. Do not even dream about it._

  
  


But, _oh_ , did some of them try. 

  
  


None of them succeeded. Donghyuck was a challenge, a game specifically designed by himself to make sure no one could even come close to winning. 

  
  


If you had your heart broken by Donghyuck Lee, you had no one to blame but yourself.

  
  


And finally, his thoughts drift back to the boy in front of him. Jeno Lee who was strong in so many aspects. Jeno Lee, who could _take_ him, yet was so warm under his palms.

  
  


Jeno Lee, the third of the Lee brothers, and the moon to Donghyuck’s sun. 

  
  


The older boy turns his head slightly to press a soft kiss to Jaemin’s palm.

  
  


“ _You’re going to ruin me_ ,” the younger repeats, and despite Jeno being the most gentle Lee brother with the most tender heart, or perhaps _because_ of it, 

  
  


“ _and I’m probably going to let you._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading <3
> 
> I'm actually thinking of making this a series? I really wanna write about the lee brothers so tell me what you want to know about them hihi it might spark a story out of me :( 
> 
> Please do leave kudos and comments! <3
> 
> You can also ask me questions in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/sprinklednana) or [twt](https://twitter.com/sprinklednana?lang=en) if you want!
> 
> I also made a [ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/sprinklednana) and i would really appreciate it if you supported me there :(


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